Tyrone at the Football Bat
My friends always accuse me of knowing nothing about professional sports so they all gawked at me as if I’d just done a backflip at the bar when I declared, “I watched a great game on TV last night.” “Give that man a beer on me,” Dave piped up. “I never thought I’d ever hear […]
Ebenezer Scrooginen
A Yooper's Christmas Carol
Ebeneezer Scrooginen (my cousin, Carl’s tightwad uncle) didn’t like funerals and decided to leave early. He might not have showed up at all were he not the executor of his recently deceased partner, Bob Marlinen’s estate. Estate was somewhat of an overstatement since all Marlinen left was some cash, clothing, a beat up Pontiac and […]
Deer Camp Characters
ANY HUNTER IS SURE TO RECOGNIZE SOMEONE THEY KNOW… Marquette, MI – The guys at Carl’s deer camp are a motley assemblage of woodsmen, dedicated to avoiding their jobs and wives for two weeks while they wallow in decadence. This heavily armed contingent of big spenders frequents scores of wilderness taverns as they vigilantly scan […]
I Remember When Our Family Got Our First Dog…
I remember when our family got our first dog. I was hiding behind the water heater during spring break when my kids accosted me. They were looking for Daddy to ask if they could please get one of those darling little German Shepherd puppies So-and-so was selling. We’d gone down this trail before and all […]
Fixing the Vacuum Cleaner
It howled and grumbled like a banshee in a bear trap. Whenever my wife tried to get some work out of it, it squealed a mournful wail that caused the dog to run for cover behind the sofa. This time, I’m talking about my vacuum cleaner, not my lazy cousin, Carl. The ancient beast is […]
Retirement: For Those Who Have Jobs Instead of Careers
REFLECTIONS ON CAREERS, JOBS, AND LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT
REFLECTIONS ON CAREERS, JOBS, AND LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons Marquette, MI – Having survived a life of working for a living I am now in the era when I should be able to start living. Retirement is for those people who […]
Recipes For Disaster!
One Man's Hilarious Journey Into Home Cooking...
Twenty years ago, I couldn’t have cooked a meal without the smoke alarms going off or the dog howling. Somehow, during that time when it became necessary for every adult to go to work, I acquired the majority of our household’s meal preparation responsibilities. I had the skinniest kids in town for a while, but […]
Shack Fever
You Could Be Next...
Winter is upon us once again. Early winter is rather cool; sliding down hills, making snowmen and playing in the snow before it piles up to the rafters. In late winter, people in northern climates tend to experience a variety of neuroses, colloquially termed: shack fever. Not only must we endure the debilitating Arctic air […]
Deer Hunter’s Holiday
Marquette, MI – Probably the last great undeclared state holiday is the opening day of deer season. November 15th certainly creates a much bigger hoopla than many other holidays. While many public schools and businesses close for Opening Day, whoever calls in sick so as not to miss a Presidents’ Day celebration? Who has ever […]
The Art of Taking Sauna
NOTHING TAKES THE CHILL OUT OF WINTER LIKE A SAUNA
Marquette, MI – In my opinion, no retirement is complete without the use of a sauna. Nothing takes the chill out of those aging bones like a warm baking in a 150 degree oven for a half hour at the end of a busy day of golf or fishing. A glance at a world map will show […]
